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Die, It.

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Ana creed [20 Dec 2007|09:22pm]

dillusion11
I believe in Control, the only force mighty enough to bring order to the chaos that is my world.

I believe that i am the most vile, worthless and useless person ever to have existed on the planet, and that I am totally unworthy of anyone's time and attention.

I believe that other people who tell me differently are idiots. If they could see how I really am, then they would hate me almost as much as I do.

I believe in perfection and strive to attain it.

I believe in salvation through trying just a bit harder than I did yesterday.

I believe in bathroom scales as an indicator of my daily successes and failures.

I believe in hell, because I sometimes think that I am living in it.

I believe in a wholey black and white world, the losing of weight, recrimination for sins, abnegation of the body and a life ever fasting.
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so you know I'm not being rude [08 Jul 2007|10:19pm]

dillusion11
[ mood | annoyed ]

before I even begin to write this entry I want everybody to know I'm not being rude ok, I just want to state something that I noticed. You guys all talk about how anorexic you are, but honestly you guys aren't medically possible. To be anoretic (the medical phrase) you actually have to be underweight, I think you must have a BMI below 20 for your height to be even considered anoretic. You guys may want to be but you actually aren't, just so you know. What you are is having issues with food, kinda disordered eating but not an actually eating disorder. I'm not being rude k, just it kinda annoys me when everyone says they have an eating disorder when they really don't.

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dear fat cow, [25 Jun 2006|09:22pm]
alltheblackrain
[ mood | hopeful ]

a new start for a fat cow. i am starting anew, a new diet, a new thin. now that this intervention thing as been forgotten i can start again with the restricting, with the fast and exercise. i am excited and somewhat hopefull that i will see sucess with this. a solid foundation for a way to solid me. i have began to keep a food journal again, which accounts for not only what i eat but how much i eat, what time of the day it was, and how many calories and fat calories it has. and then i tabulate the total calories and fat calories of the day. i do this everyday. i dont know why but it seems to help me keep my restriction going smoothy and my caloric intake in check. try it! it might work for u too! well, by starting my food journal up again i find that im am taking in too may calories a day, around 1100! i need to be back down to at least 800 cals a day max! so this is one new goal i have set for myself. lets see how it goes!

dont give up when ur goals are just around the corner. dont eat for one more day and soon u will be beautiful!

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the insanity has begun... [06 Dec 2005|02:34pm]
alltheblackrain
[ mood | groggy ]

finals are here and its time to go into crunch mode... stress about everything, but its easier not to eat when im stressed. who knew.

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hey, it fat day! [24 Nov 2005|02:38am]
alltheblackrain
[ mood | anxious ]

turkey day is here and im scared. my family will make me eat and of course i will hate them for it. they will hand me dessert and i will say no thanx. hell no i dont want fatt on a plate! i just want to get all the sludge out of me. thats all.

by the way i suppost to be a "recovering" anorexic

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[24 Jun 2005|09:24pm]

wingxnut18
Hi all! Losing the weight is getting easier, as long as I can stay away from pizza and oreo cookies, but I still need more support.

I think I posted the link to my site here before, but it wasn't quite ready for the public eye at that point. I encourage all of you to pay us a visit again and check everything out.

http://www.realeasyweightloss.com

I've been working hard on getting this all up and running, so I would appreciate it if you all could take a moment, check it out, and let me know what you think.

The NEW Realeasyweightloss.com!

-Weight Loss Journals
-New Recipe section!
-More content!
-Weight Loss Newsletter
-More Weight Loss programs than ever!
-Review and comment on any and all programs/stories on this site
-Vote for your favorite prorgams and help others acheive their goals!
-All new forums!
-Much much more!

Roam around the site and let us know what you think and how we can better help you. Also, don't be afraid to share this wonderful resource with others.

Thank you all for your time!

Sorry for the x-post
1 comment|post comment

Hi! [11 Apr 2005|05:15pm]

bathorica
My name is Claire, I'm new. ^^

Height: 5 feet, 9 inches
Hw: 150 (estimate)
Lw: 135
Cw: 135
Sgw: 120
Lgw: 95 (all in lbs...)

I've been anorexic for a while, I'm not sure how long exactly, long enough to have reached my goal, but I haven't. -.-
Today I've had fresh orange juice, and a nudie (mixed fruit juice), which is good for me. I'm about to have noodles, a little worried, but if I have nothing else today I will be ok.

Hugs to all,

Claire
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Weight Loss Products That Work! [21 Dec 2004|12:28am]

veilofdisdain
Hello everyone.

I wanted to let everyone know about a couple of great products I have used which have helped me to lose 53 pounds within 4 months. The products are completely safe and natural. The first product is called AM5000 Energy & Weight Loss Solution. The second product is called PrimeOne. They both compliment each other very well so you can use them in conjunction with one another. I found out about these products through a company called AMS Health Sciences. I am forever thankful for this company and the products they put out, because they really work.

Right now, they are doing a promotional deal where you can get a 30 day FREE trial of both of these products. All you pay is $12.95 for shipping. These products usually retail for around $90.00. It is extremely worth while, and I would recommend them to ANYONE who is serious about losing weight. Check out their website at:

AMS Health Sciences


Make sure to click the picture that shows the woman on the beach. That pic will take you to their free trial sign up. I don't know how long this promotion is going to last, but I wouldn't waste my time with it. They weren't doing it when I found them. I actually paid full retail price for it. I have no regrets though. Anyway, that's all for now. Good luck!
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Eating Disorders Research [07 Dec 2004|09:09pm]
planktonday
All:
(If you’ve seen this on other communities, its been UPDATED, please read) Hey everyone, Id like to introduce myself. My name is Lindsay and Im 22, a graduate from SUNY Fredonia. I will be going on to grad school in Fall 2005 and in the meantime I want to do some research. I will be going on to school for social work to study eating disorders. I am in the very early stages of putting together a lengthy survey that I plan to turn into a book (before I return to school).
This is where all of you come in. I would like to know if any of you would be interested in taking a survey such as this. It would be completely confidential (you would give only me personal info. for my record-keeping). This is going to be looked over by a lawyer before I send it out, so it will be very legit. The questions range from demographics (name, age, sex etc.)- personal data such as names would not be disclosed, to questions about your personal struggle, media influence, mental health background etc. I believe I am qualified to do research like this because I have struggled with an eating disorder for years, I feel like I have a non-judgemental outlook and the ability to ask questions that maybe haven't been asked before.
I’d like to make it CLEAR that I am looking to survey males and females of ALL shapes and sizes as well as current health statuses. If you have struggled with an eating disorder in the past or are now and you happen to be interested, great! If not, that is absolutly fine and I hope that I haven’t offended you by posting on this community. I have posted to this community because it includes the interest ‘eating disorder’. I am at the beginning of my research, and it will take me a lot of time to get a wide range of people (pro AND anti ana people etc.)
This is a rather non-personal email (sorry) that I intend to send to as many of these eating disorder based livejournal groups as possible. That is because I need help from ALL of you. If you are interested- email me
ED_Research@hotmail.com
If you respond to this on a community, chances are I won’t see it for a very long time. This is because I am having very successful responses (YAY) from this post, and it takes me a very long time just keeping up with my emails. I am so sorry about that and I mean no disrespect to your community, if you feel that way then you may simply delete this post.
Please keep in mind that I am in the beginning stages and although I want to move the processes along quickly, it may take time before I am able to send the finalized survey out. If you email me, I will try my best to respond in a timely fashion and answer any questions you may have.
Thank you so much, Lindsay
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[10 Nov 2004|12:38pm]

broken_angel627
Hey girls. I have just created a new community for people with any eating disorder. You can do whatever you want there. Post thinspiration, share tips, whatever...please join. I want it to be a safe place for us all to go.

http://www.livejournal.com/community/_brokenangels/
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Breathe ladies..... [15 Jul 2004|11:07am]

pink_angels
Image Hosted by ImageShack.usI had a binge last night. It might not sound like much of a binge to you, but to me it was really bad and I barely slept because of it. I don't think I even got 4 hours. I had a slice of toast and jam - and I only did half my alloted exercise time. I have my period and my legs just would not move - even though I did have a 300 cal dinner and Stacker earlier in the day. I feel disgusting. Then I ate some sweets this morning. I have alot of walking to do today though which makes it a bit easier - maybe after I am exhausted from exercise then I will feel clean again. I feel dirty - I just want to go up to the bathroom and drown myself really, make myself clean somehow, or else take the breadknife to my thighs... god I hate them. They have shrunk, but then they just make my arse and calves look chunkier. They should be made to pay either way, hehe :)Image Hosted by ImageShack.usI'm trying to be easy on myself, to be understanding but the trouble is when you feel like a person in your head only and you are trapped inside this body which is ugly and misshapen you really don't care too much what happens to it. I am body dysmorphic, I have AN with bulimic episodes, and I compulsively exercise. The only thing that would bother me about if I fractured my ankle would be not being able to exercise and how I'd not be able to eat at all. I do not want to die but I have very little regard for my body, the 'outer shell' if you like. My thoughts, my neurosis, my intelligence is me, the rest is just the husk of genetic matter I happen to inhabit. Is anyone else here very very detached from their own body? I can't actually remember a time when I didn't feel like that. Even as a child I didn't mind blood being taken or injuring myself - I just used to be very calm and look at what was going on with an almost morbid fascination. Because I can feel it, but it's strange when you get sensations but they feel wrong because the body isn't something you actually associate with being 'you' Know what I mean? My childhood was so totally fucked it's no wonder I was never 'normal'.
I'm leaving email comments on with this post because I'd be interested to hear any comments you have about BDD and alienation from your own being. I will pop them together on the site if that's okay. They might be useful to someone. The Angels BitCollapse )
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Hmmmmm..... [02 Jul 2004|09:56am]

pink_angels
another distorted image by Angelica
AAmbitious
NNeat
AAccurate
-
AArty
NNatural
GGlamorous
EExciting
LLight
SSappy

Name / Username:


Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
Had a strange couple of days. Always eat a bit when I'm ill because I just feel like I have ZERO energy and therefore need a little bit to keep me going. Hard to stomach when you are used to black coffee, and then a little dinner once a day about 7pm, but hey, apart from the fat gut and the fear and self loathing, it was fine [/sarcasm].
The worst bit about being ill is exercise. I find it so hard, whereas normally I need it more than anything else. Still got my fat arse on my bike and pedalled away but you know what it's like - unless you do your normal target, or better when you exceed it, then it's not good enough. That little voice talls you that you're a stupid lazy selfish cow for worrying about fainting in front of your family if you'd gone on, and how you should have burned that other 150 cals away anyway - especially as you ate in the day. Small flapjack and some rice cakes. Fuck me, I feel revolted at the mere thought of it.
Want me to link you? Click hereCollapse )
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More site stuff information [23 Jun 2004|11:01am]

pink_angels
Today we have launched the Ana Haven Shop in association with Amazon. This basically sells a bunch of stuff of interest - topical books covering issues such as all ED's, self harm, depression, OCD and more. It also offers a range of fitness equipment and videos. Any commission earned from sales will be put back into keeping the site ad-free (as I'm paying for that) and making improvements where they can be made. You will find the link via the SHOP section at http://ana-angels.2ya.com. Some of the site-branded merchandise in the regular shop is on sale too - so please take a look.
If you want to let others know about the site then you can use the 'tell a friend' service on-site. There are a couple around on pages - easiest to go to the contacts section. Remember that is where the forum, live chat, buddy list and shoutbox are located too.
We'd like to offer some reader-designed wallpapers. If you can come up with an original/manipulated image in pink tone at a size of at least 1280x960 (1600x1200 300 dpi preferable) then please feel free to let us know. You could wind up being chosen as one of the official wallpapers. Just look at the colours of the site and realise it's meant to blend.
We have added a FFA links section to the links page if you are not interested in becoming a full affiliate. Please feel free to sign it to promote your journal, group or ed-related site.
Please use the email forms on site if you want to offer to help out or if you have any suggestions for the site. Ana-Angels if finally back in full swing and not going anywhere, we've had nearly 1100 hits to the front page in two days, and I'd love for anyone who wants to to get involved and make the community a busy one.
Thanks.
Angelica.
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Please post up your history. [10 Jun 2004|01:29pm]

pink_angels
Pretty - and oddly enough nothing like meI thought it might be nice if we posted up our histories of how we came to be where we are now. It might just be interesting to see how much common ground most of us have. Please post these details either in a new message if you are a member of ANA ANGELS - or else pop it in the free-for-all BUDDY LIST.

Do you have a GENETIC PREDISPOSITION? Do ED's run in your family?
Did you have a stereotypical 'anorexic family' growing up? That is negative, where parents were interfering and overprotective and where expectations were unusually high to achieve and succeed? Did you avoid conflict with your family? One parent overbearing while the other was quite passive? Family rules so strong it was difficult to express your individuality?
Were you subjected to abuse - whether of a sexual, physical or emotional nature?
Did your ED start due to adolescent crisis?Were you stopped from taking risks at this age and was your homelife unstable at this time?
Did it start out as a desire to conform to the social desire to be slim?
Was it a part of searching for autonomy?
Did you inherit low self esteem from parents who feel that way about themselves?
Did it start around the time of a period of separation or loss?

Just thought it would be nice to share. I fall into almost every category and it's actually of some kind of comfort to know I'm just a textbook anorexic as opposed to being the freak I always felt like growing up. The person is inside my head, that is me. But 'the body' I am trapped in just makes me sick.
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[30 May 2004|03:36pm]
anagirls
Ana Girls
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[12 Apr 2004|08:41am]

dietingordeath
I am so very excited all of my pants are too big.. it rules.. So I ordered like three really cute belts from http://www.vicioustaco.com/ I also got the coolest stickers there... thought I would spread the word about.. since most of you pants are most likely falling down..lol.. I got the dork one and also the pink star.. i am debating on what band I might pick.. i do defintly like the Mrs. Justin timberlake... anyway they are cute.. and cheaper then buying new clothing everytime my pants fall down... cause I am broke and need to make them last as long as possible...

anyway if anyone else knows of good sites to get belts and cute girly stuff cheap let me know..

http://www.vicioustaco.com/

also if anyone wants any cool ed icons cntact me they are my new fun thing to do...

also also i am starting a fast today wanna join me???

also again i need to know how to cook fish and what is a way I can make them without being to fishy tasteing??
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Hello My name is Mary and I need Motivation [11 Mar 2004|01:34pm]

dietingordeath
[ mood | hopeful ]

Hello I am new to all the communities I am xposting so I am very sorry if you get this message several hundered times. This will be the onlt time I do it. My name is Mary I am 23 years old. I am what I would call extreem dieting curently I have been binging and purging for about 5 months now.. for at least three months I did not keep one thing down. Mostly because I was having cmplications with my galbaldder and it was inpossible to keep things down.. I had my galbladder removed and I did not want to stop. It had just become so easy and over the span of the 5 months I have lost 58 pounds. I am very happy with my progress. I have joined all of you here cause I despertly need to stay moitvated until I am at my goal weight. My stats are sad but here they are:
current weight: 228
highest: 281
Lowest: 180
GOAL: 130
LOST SO FAR: 58 pounds
So I am not sure if I am anna or not but I have had issues with food my enitre life.. I use it as a comfort. I am now finding much more power not having to relay on food all the time. I am hopping to make freinds here and support one another. I also would love any help you could give me and I would love to help all of you in anyway I can. Thank you for your support in advance I have found so much insperation reading you posts...

Mary

1 comment|post comment

[11 Feb 2004|08:19am]

kellerina
I'm not eating today.
I'm not eating today.
I'm not eating today.
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I'm not eating today.
I'm not eating today.
4 comments|post comment

176 [07 Feb 2004|03:54pm]

kellerina
I lost the ten pounds I put on while living at the boyfriend's (binge hell). Now I'm ten above my lowest weight, and a million above my goal.

I threw away the soup I was going to eat this morning. There's hope.

240/176/120
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[29 Jan 2004|08:45am]

kellerina
This feels great. I'm hungry. I've been overeating really badly since I started staying with Mark. Yesterday, I had a tiny piece of coffee cake for breakfast, celery as a snack, refried beans with cheese and hamburger and a bowl of cereal for lunch, and a piece of grilled chicken with lettuce and salsa for dinner. I know that's a lot but it's a fraction of what I usually eat. The amazing thing is, I ate the chicken at about 5:00 and I didn't eat ANYTHING the rest of the night, even though I had humger pains. It's 9:00 in the morning now and I'm very hungry but I haven't eaten. Coleensaid she's taking me out to breakfast so I guess I have to eat then, but I'll order something small. I figure I'll have a pear for lunch and try to skip dinner (but in reality, I'll probably eat something). This is exciting because the motivation is back. Before, I simple could not stop eating. I would eat and eat until I was literally sick to my stomach. And all of the sudden I can starve myself again. This is so exciting. Maybe I can lose some weight off my fat piggy ass now. Last time I weighed in I was 185, but that's Coleen's scale. I don't doubt it's a far cry from the truth though. I need to get below my lowest weight to be happy. (167) And then some. Well a lot.

NOTHING tastes better than thin feels.

I think I'm going to live my life in this limbo - overeating until I can't take it anymore, and then starving myself for a while, while my weight fluctuates like crazy. That's scary. I wish I could stay like this. It's so glamourous.
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